When Do Kids Start Expecting a Big Birthday Party?

My friend, who had a boy before I did, once gave me this advice:

Put off having a big birthday party for as long as possible.

Because once you start, there will be an expectation every year.

A bigger. Expectation.

Mimi is still three, so we have been holding out. But for B, we already surrendered and had a big party last year for his fifth birthday.

(And I can already tell that after seeing her brother’s party last year, Mimi now has a much better idea of what she wants for her upcoming birthday… 🥲)

When B first started JK, he was still young and kind of naive about birthday parties. But throughout his first school year, he was invited to multiple parties. Then, very naturally, he started telling me what theme he wanted for his birthday party.

Not asking if he could have one.

Just telling me the theme.

(I collapsed.)

He wanted Minecraft, so I got Minecraft-themed plates, cups, tablecloths, a banner, matching family shirts, and a Minecraft cake. We held the party at an indoor playground in our neighbourhood, where many of his classmates had already celebrated their birthdays.

At First, I Wanted to Do Something Different

I was kind of cocky at first and said I wanted to do something different.

Hahaha. So stupid.

I searched for art studios, trampoline places, and other fancy indoor playgrounds. I especially wanted an art studio. It looked fun, and honestly, it also looked like it would make us seem like parents who do things differently. 😂

Then reality arrived: the number of kids, the age range, the cost, and the convenience.

There was a reason certain places were popular with the moms in our area.

The Number of Kids

At B’s school, we were told that if birthday invitations were handed out through school, the whole class needed to be included. I don’t know if every TDSB school or teacher handles it the same way, so it is best to check with your child’s teacher first.

B’s class had 15 children, including him, with a mix of JK and SK kids. The art studio we visited seemed much more appropriate for a smaller group.

I could have invited only a few close friends privately, but at that age, B was still becoming friends with everyone. He couldn’t really choose only three or four children. And I didn’t want anyone to feel left out.

So, the entire class it was.

The Age Range Was Tricky Too

The children in B’s class were around four to six years old.

Two years may not sound like much, but at that age, the difference is HUUUUUGE.

Some kids can sit and follow a structured art activity for a long time. Some finish in five minutes. Some want to do the project exactly as the teacher shows them. Some just want to suck on the paintbrush.

It was tricky to find one structured activity that every child could enjoy.

At an indoor playground, they could simply run, climb, slide, and do whatever worked for their own age and confidence level. Nobody had to stay on the same step or wait for everyone else to finish.

How Much the Indoor Playground Party Cost

Yes. There was a reason this particular indoor playground was so popular with parents in our neighbourhood.

It was actually reasonable—for birthday-party prices, anyway.

The venue cost about $500 for a weekday late-afternoon party. The package allowed up to 25 kids and 25 adults and included:

• One hour of playtime
• One hour in the party room
• Tea and coffee for the adults
• Party-room setup before we arrived
• Cleanup after the party
• Two staff members to assist us

Some kids finished eating in 15 minutes and went right back to playing, so the one-hour celebration time was more than enough for us.

We also brought pizza, a vegetable tray, a fruit tray, chips, snacks for the parents, juice boxes, and a few other things.

Altogether, I think we spent about $800, including the venue, food, decorations, tax, and tips.

It was the most we had ever spent on one event for B.

Did I quietly think about that number for several days afterward?

Yes.

The Staff Made a Huge Difference

As I mentioned, the staff set up the party room and cleaned everything afterward.

That was REALLY convenient.

At many art studios and other birthday venues, you rent a room and decorate it however you want. They may give you 15 to 30 minutes—or sometimes an hour—before the party starts. Then you clean everything yourself afterward.

Which is okay!

But on the day of the party, you may already be a little overwhelmed. Especially if, like me, you still have PTSD from your own wedding day! Hahaha… 😂

And these ladies didn’t just set up and clean. They helped serve the food too. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! 💫

The kids sat at the tables while the staff walked around giving food to them. This helped keep the children in their seats while the food was being distributed. Parents could either stay beside their children or go and serve themselves.

Usually, the parents start serving themselves as soon as the kids begin eating.

I have also been to many birthday parties without these angel ladies. Once the food comes out and the parents walk away to get plates for their kids, the room can suddenly turn into a family-reunion search centre. Some kids start wandering around looking for Mommy or Daddy. Some start to cry. And some parents yell from the food area, “Hey, Jack!!! Did you want pepperoni or cheese?!!!!” 🫠

Hey, that is just what a kids’ birthday party is like. There is nothing wrong with it. I am just saying that having those staff members was HUUUUUGELY helpful.

Yes, we tipped them well.

Other Kids’ Birthday Party Ideas in Toronto

I always think an outdoor park party would be one of the best options when the weather cooperates. The cost can be lower, the kids have lots of space to play, and everyone can eat outside.

Unfortunately, both of my children were born in winter—one near the beginning of it and the other right in the middle—so I have never really had the chance to do a park birthday party.

Other party ideas we have seen or considered include:

• An art studio
• A dance or disco studio
• An indoor playground or trampoline place
• A martial arts studio
• A sports centre or gym party
• A princess or character visit

We were once invited to a basketball-themed birthday party at a sports centre. Two young instructors led the activities. Even the kids who didn’t play basketball had fun running around the gym and playing tag.

I have also always wanted to have a princess come to Mimi’s birthday. 😆 I found a couple of businesses in Toronto offering character visits. At the time I checked, the prices were around $200 to $300 per visit. The reviews were quite mixed, though, so I am still hesitating about that option.

As kids get older, I think it will become easier to invite a small number of close friends for a backyard party, a movie, or a meal out.

At least, that is what I am telling myself.

Would I Choose the Indoor Playground Again?

Yes, I think I would—especially for a younger child with a whole class to invite.

It wasn’t the different and fancy party I first imagined. But every child found something to do, the parents could have coffee, and I didn’t have to decorate and clean an entire room while trying to keep track of 25 excited children.

Sometimes the popular choice is popular for a reason.

The venue was not the end of the birthday-party decisions, though. We still had to think about gifts, siblings, allergies, food, and the greatest mystery of all:

The loot bag.

I will talk about those in the next post.