Here we go again. We got another birthday party invitation.

Isn’t a birthday party fun?

Yeeees.

Isn’t a birthday party exciting?

Yeeeeeees.

Isn’t a birthday party expensive?

YEEEEEEEEES!!

This time, the birthday party is for twins.

(Duh duh duh.)

Double the presents.

(Duh duh duh.)

Usually B gets invited and Mimi tags along. When the host says Mimi can come too, we normally bring one present from B and another from Mimi as our little “sibling payment.” So we already bring double the presents.

And this time, the birthday children are twins.

It is double the double.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

After hosting B’s birthday party and attending many other kids’ parties, I have learned a few things about siblings, gifts, allergies, and loot bags.

These are not official birthday-party rules. They are just the rules inside my own head—which are apparently getting more complicated with every invitation.

Can You Bring Siblings to a Kids’ Birthday Party?

Ask the host first. Don’t just show up with a sibling.

Some parties are held at places that charge per child. Some venues have a strict maximum number. The host may also have prepared an exact number of chairs, meals, cupcakes, or loot bags.

And when you ask, say exactly how many siblings you want to bring.

One parent from B’s class asked if her other children could come to B’s birthday party. I said yes, thinking she meant one.

Three siblings came. 🤦‍♀️

She didn’t do anything terrible—I had said yes, after all. But I should have asked, “How many?” because the total number really matters.

So now, if I want to bring Mimi to B’s friend’s party, I ask clearly:

“Would it be okay if B’s three-year-old sister comes too? No worries at all if the numbers are limited.”

That gives the host an easy way to say no without feeling bad.

If the sibling is not included in the party package but the venue allows us to buy separate admission, I can also offer to pay for her.

How Much Do We Spend on a Birthday Gift?

This is only my personal rule, not official Canadian birthday-party etiquette.

I usually spend around $40 on a gift. If it is a close friend, I may spend around $60.

I also consider the venue. 😅

Once I know where the party is being held, I quickly check the website and do some mental math about how much the parents probably had to spend. If it looks like they spent a lot per child, sometimes I add a little more to the gift budget.

Meh, I just do it. Maybe I am just nosy.

Ask About Allergies Before Buying Food

If you are hosting, ask the parents about allergies before buying the food.

We also try to buy nut-free food to be safe, especially when school friends are attending. But “nut-free” doesn’t cover every allergy, of course. A child could have an allergy to dairy, eggs, sesame, or something else, so it is better to ask instead of guessing.

It also helps to keep the original food packages or ingredient labels available. If a parent needs to check something, you can show them the label instead of trying to remember every ingredient while 25 children are screaming for juice.

And Then There Is the Loot Bag

Here we go.

The loot bag.

What is it?

WHY is it?

At first, I really didn’t understand the idea of a loot bag.

But now I kind of do.

A child goes shopping with their parents to pick a birthday gift. Then they watch their parents pay for it and wrap it. Then they carry it to the party and watch it being given away to another child.

So maybe the loot bag is a nice little something to heal that sore feeling.

I understand.

But it gives mommies such a headache.

You don’t want to fill it with garbage that will be thrown away the next day. You don’t want to include something that looks toxic and makes the other parents think you were not thoughtful.

You want something useful.

Something fun.

Something that matches the party theme.

And something within the budget.

That is why we always end up with the same things:

• Play-Doh
• Stickers
• Stamps
• Small activity books
• Bubbles
• Whistles

Whistles!

Hahaha. Sorry, parents.

One time, my child received a Pokémon-themed loot bag. Inside the Poké Ball was a pair of Pokémon socks. I thought that was simple, useful, and very cute.

Maybe one useful themed item is better than a whole bag of tiny plastic toys. A book, socks, sidewalk chalk, or one small craft activity could work too.

But anyway, loot bags are always a hard decision for me.

My Very Unofficial Birthday Party Rules

So after all the parties we have hosted and attended, these are my very unofficial rules:

• RSVP within time!
• Ask before bringing a sibling, and be clear about how many children you want to bring.
• Ask what the birthday kid like for the gift before buying.
• Keep food labels available when possible.
• Don’t order only cheese and pepperoni pizzas. Add a couple of “grown-up” options with vegetables, jalapeños, or BBQ chicken. The parents will appreciate it.
• Try not to make other parents hate you with the loot bag whistles.

And now, we are off to another birthday party.

This time for twins.

Double the fun. Double the cake. Double the presents.

And because Mimi is coming too—double the double.

Are kids’ birthday parties fun?

YEEEEES.

Are they expensive?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!